Somebody: Oh well, that didnt last long. A huge fight 3 weeks ago... problems ever since... No BF.
Ken Rudolph:
Big surprise!
(next time remember that all relationships need frequent
watering with empathy and compromise.)
Amen to that. And work, plain old inconvenient, difficult and often upsetting *work*.
A guy I used to see told me, by way of lament, that all his relationships had failed. When I knew him better it was clear that the likely reason was his disinclination (maybe inability) to do the work, specifically the introspective part, which would among other things require him to set aside his insecurities long enough to understand (one hoped, to change) patterns that perpetuate failure. So in my opinion, he's stuck, and stuck badly, in a no-win situation.
As time has gone along, my friendships, at varying levels of closeness, have tended to be less casual than when I was young. At my 50th birthday party, excepting my boss and one guy I was especially fond of at the time, I had known all of the 20 or so people there for at least 15 years, many much longer.
Now it's 20 years later, and apart from several deaths, these
friendships still exist, nearly all of them having lasted half
my lifetime, a few even longer. It was work -- on both sides,
of course -- to make that happen.
