I was among those at the memorial gathering for Rob Bernardo. Like so many such gatherings -- and most of us have known too many, in recent years -- it was almost an enjoyable occasion, but far too sad to be that.
Those who hadn't met me before will have the impression that I'm not talkative. <wry grin>
Steve Dyer described the afternoon quite well. I'm only adding some personal impressions.
It was a large group. Several people said Rob would be pleased at the number; I'm sure he would have.
It impressed me as a good group -- further testimony, I think, to Rob's own goodness. The closeness was remarkable considering how many of us had never met; of course, for me, many of my favorite motss-folk were there (I missed Jess).
Meeting relatives at the services for people who have died of AIDS is one of my least favorite things to do -- but in this case, it was a pleasure. I said (I think) that I was proud to have known Rob; I can see where he could be proud of his family -- and his other friends, as well.
When we told our impressions and reminiscences of Rob, I didn't speak as well as I would have liked. I didn't expect that Chuck would call on all of us! I was trying hard to control myself and my voice. I don't know if that's a good thing, or not. (My acting experience insisted on it, though.) I wanted to say more than I did; such as how, for instance, one thing I had in common with Rob was the daydream that California (or the west coast) might be independent of the rest of the US (I didn't want to offend so many out-of-towners!).
I didn't mention Roger, the boy (24-yr-old) whose dying last spring occasioned Rob's sympathy. I want to mention him now.
When Howard Faye spoke, he mentioned a time when I "was calling him a twit every other day." My flippant reaction: "Oh, Howard, I thought I only called you a twit a couple of times." My serious reaction: "I haven't been angry at, have in fact enjoyed your postings for the last few years." I felt too awkward to say either of those things in person, but I do want to say them now. If I never said so on the net before, I apologize.
They were the best ribs I'd ever had. Rob's brother-in-law did them justice.
I want to thank Chuck Fisher, very much, for organizing the memorial, and for pinning up those wonderful quotes of Rob's around the house (Chuck, if you ever have a chance to post them, please do so).
And thanks to Lou Ceci, who was good enough to drive me to and
from SF. As we walked back to his van, I noticed him look at
Rob's house, and wince. I felt the same. I looked at him, nodded,
and we were on our way home.
